i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
