Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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