You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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