She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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