I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize