morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
