Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
