But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Randomize
