just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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