Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize