You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
