you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
