did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
