what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize