at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize