Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
