how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
