I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
