So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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