Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
