Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
