does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
