Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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