When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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