watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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