Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
