remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
