Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
