Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
