I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
