I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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