I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
