xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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