Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
