South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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