its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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