it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
