I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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