I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
