one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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