Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
