She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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