so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
