just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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