I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
