I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize