I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
