Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
