I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
