I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
