is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
