Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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