The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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