My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You are a genius and a whore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
