His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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