Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
