I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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