I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
