Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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